a little denial never hurt

from lebanon, tennessee

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 04:48:56 GMT

pronounced like lebuhnin, much like oruhgin, where i was a week ago and would like to be there now.

traveling is tiring and boring. 5 hour delay, only to arrive in nashville. the music city. for the deaf.

im sure there are a lot of nice people here, but i have no interest in meeting any of them.

this summer has been the best yet and i say that with sincerity and confidence.
girlfriend, check, sweet job, check, friends, check, weather, check, please, check please, chick peas.

im losing my mind! its 11:40 and anyone reading this is drunk at dans. im there in spirit.

7 or so months have gone by since i last updated. i feel relatively the same only with faster growing facial hair.
i am now a student in the school of education, majoring in pure mathematics. i will teach with all my might. i have direction and no time to go abroad. i dont believe this is a mistake because i really cant think of any other profession id like to do.

except for rock star and professional basketball player, which are not entirely out of the picture.

it is sad to think that this is my legacy. so many gaps only filled by hazy recollection and memory association. 'well, i remember i did this and this on the same day...' but what day? what year? you cant keep track of every moment, youre not supposed to. but if we could..

they really like god here and i fear for my sanity,
john

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 11:52:30 GMT

peace smithtown

a stellar break, as usual.

christmas break

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 21:46:37 GMT

second in 2 weeks, i must be bored

tuesday, 19th: missed my flight, got on the next one, came home around 5, ate, hung out with erin
wednesday, 20th: christmas shopping with martucci and matt, nap, dinner, wii at dans, martuccis for poker, little vincents
thursday, 21st: went to a dentist to get fitted for a sleep apnea mouthpiece, cousins birthday, erins
friday, 22nd: made lasagna, got alcohol, went to kristins..and drank it
saturday, 23rd: glassjaw, gabes, erins
sunday, 24th: family came over, went to scotts
monday, 25th: christmas, duh. napped, erins, then back here
tuesday, 26th: haircut, boredom, updated livejournal

not bad so far

boy

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 00:52:34 GMT

five months is a long time.

today was the last day of classes here at bu and my last day of work for the semester.
oh, right, the semester.

well lets see: ive made some good choices, and some bad ones, and some great ones. im happy with where i am right now, except for my grades, which is i guess the opposite of jimmy denino right now. his journal influenced me to update.

i went to ireland, i joined a sketch comedy group, i fell asleep in class, i got haircuts. the dull mixes with the exciting, keeping me on the toes of my flat feet, which end up hurting if im on them for a while.

i am still with erin. and that is just out of control. we had a conversation the other day about armed robbery or something (long story) and wondering when the threshold was. meaning at what point do your actions stop defining you for somebody else and become decisions either constant or unusual to the person? if i committed armed robbery, for example, people that know me would say i made a bad decision, while others would know me as the kid who committed armed robbery. at what point in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, do actions stop defining you? id say a year probably.

i keep telling everyone im gonna be a math major. im doing worse in math by far than in all my other classes. is this a good decision? [end obligatory 19 year old life path confusion]

[commence obligatory 19 year old anticipation]
christmas break! yeah!
a month off. i sure could use it. and once i get back, im taking a beatles class, and erin will be living here.

glassjaw's playing at the crazy donkey december 23rd.
new years? somebody?

my temper is so strange..

i need to do some chrismtas shopping

ive been keeping up on current events since i got here. and ho-ly-shit. maybe tehran shouldnt be holding a holocaust denial conference on the grounds of free speech when they dont even acknowledge political prisoners. and maybe we should be focusing more attention on darfur instead of the poisoned ex-kgb officer. easy for me to say, the upper middle class kid with the world at his feet. i am optimistic about our generation overcoming their apathy. but not any time soon.

as i progress through each entry, i hate how i dont update often, and i hate how each update serves as the only record of me every six months.

i hope this isnt the last of me in 2006

a midsummer nights update

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 03:52:03 GMT

its raining, as usual, but today it was acceptable cause i got off early from work.
i work at long beach as an attendant with some pretty cool people, although the good lifeguards are few and far between. i camped out with the worthwhile ones at short beach one night, solidifying my status in the upper echelon of beach personnel.

the blue barracudas have begun their third season in great form, although the two losses in the first doubleheader were a little spirit crushing. a barbeque at kts promptly lifted our heads from the well of defeat, and the bye today means we'll be completely out of shape for mondays game.

as a consistently self-centered person, my actions lately seem to disappoint the people i care about most. i keep aggravating my sister ('its just easier to blame you for things, john') and my role in my relationship with a (patient, very patient) older girl seems to be showing similar signs of weakness. the maturity + responsibility combo was never my strong suit, but boy am i trying.

although i feel like im still waiting for summer to start, i think this is turning out to be better than any summer previous. bonnaroo itself deserves its own entry, and the shows in philly and new hampshire are the highlights of my long-yet-stagnant musical career. lakitu promises an ep by the end of the summer, our first forward act as a band (besides name changes) since our incarnation almost a year and a half ago. getting drunk almost every night and a 330am bedtime are taking their toll on my immune system and alertness, but my jam packed days are no longer interrupted by naps. dont get me wrong, i am still a strong advocate for the unconscious state, but my schedule just doesnt allow it. come september the comas will be in full swing.

so thats where im at right now, busy as hell stupidly waiting for things to settle down so i can relax. ive been to moses 3 times this summer, and that sort of makes me want to vomit. workin 9-5 for the citay 5 days a week will do that.

i forgot to mention that about 40% of my time at work is spent asleep. but thats part of the job description for beach attendant.

and now, bedtime.

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 17:16:43 GMT

soco amaretto lime
untitled 8
the quiet things that no one ever knows
i will play my game beneath the spin light
good to know that if i ever need attention all i have to do is die
sic transit gloria...glory fades
play crack the sky
me vs maradona vs elvis
okay i believe you but my tommy gun dont
the boy who blocked his own shot
jaws theme swimming
the shower scene
seventy times seven
--
new song
jude law and a semester abroad

so what youre telling me is,

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 07:42:14 GMT

we have 4 months off with nothing to do?
yikes.

schools great. its so weird that i was so worried. the group of friends has expanded immensely and its so good to have that here. so now instead of kevin, sean, phil, dave, and zach, its now bk, matt, disalvo, jackie, sam, urby, tim, becki, gus, and a few randoms. everybodys hilarious, and nice, and unique, and im glad that i didnt settle for friends here. im more in my element with a huge group of people. we travel together to parties and take over the dining hall, its a good life.

im keeping on top of my work, which is growing by the day. i have 3 more papers to write and 2 presentations in italian.

erin. fuckin. frary. is coming to boston on thursday. i hope she has fun, i really do, cause shes only gonna be here for 2 days. but no matter what its gonna be amazing. its been over a year since we started hanging out. what. i have more self confidence, a better outlook, and a more extensive vocabulary because of her. i miss her here, but 4 months together should take care of that.

dan albrecht passed away. first of all, im so sorry to anyone who was close with him or wanted to be. i wasnt good friends with him, but id spoken to him a number of times, and its just weird that hes not around anymore. i know it hit hard with a few good friends of mine. i cant imagine. good show to everybody though for taking it as a reminder that life is precious and we arent invincible at 18. as much as we'd like to believe that.

in less sorrowful news, my sisters turning 21. shes an adult. how the fuck did that happen. i hope she does whatever makes her happy in life cause she deserves it. she has work ethic, and drive, and i envy that, but instead of getting some, ill take a nap.

which i do more than ever now. but i accept it. cause i think i have a sleep disorder. either hypersomnia or sleep apnea. now i have an excuse! i have to sleep. or ill hallucinate. all napping does is make me want to sleep more, but lucid dreaming is probably the best thing in the world.

i might have chosen a major. or a path at least. mathematics, then get a masters in cognitive and neural systems. zach said 'grad school is the new college' and that scares me cause 4 years of intense intense school is not my bag. it will be on brain stuff though, hopefully sleep research (no, not so i can sleep, so i can learn more about it), and it interests me now. instead of being lazy, im jumping on it.

all that he needed
for proof of god
was music. - kurt vonnegut

walsh has a quote in his profile, "talking about music is like dancing about architecture." which i dont necessarily agree with. but. an interesting point. lets just shut up and listen.

or play? i figured out how to record stuff on my computer (guitar & bass stuff). i asked jimmy if hed like to do vocal tracks on top of stuff i wrote, or we write, or walsh writes and throws out that i can steal. just kidding.

miyagi is alive and well. we're recording soon. im excited. you should be too.

what else is there to say? i try to limit my very destructive habits to the weekend but sometimes they spill over. after i do my work though. no harm, right? we'll see.

all that stuff about finding yourself at college. what does that even mean. i dont think i changed much but i know i changed a lot. ive learned to relax about a lot of things and that everything has a lot of humor in it. my friends feel the same way, so i guess thats what they mean by finding yourself. people with the same outlook. i know no pessimists.

going home will be absolutely amazing. im seeing erin thursday friday and saturday and my parents saturday and sunday. its just gonna fuel the anticipation.

MARATHON MONDAY OMFG we gon' get drunk.

doing laundry still sucks. but a dryer exploding and causing an evacuation, on the other hand, is hilarious. it wasnt mine. i wish.

watch arrested development, take deep breaths, and read the tao of pooh.

its getting better all the time,
bobzilla

and what a week it was

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 03:02:25 GMT

spring break was everything i hoped it would be. i hung out with erin 6 of the 9 days i was home (thats 66.6% for those keeping score), drank a few nights, road tripped, and hung out with old friends.

for me to remember what i did and when,

friday i got home and saw block party with walsh and walter. afterwards i went to erins.

saturday i hung out with erin, went to outback and rjs with rj, jimmy c, jp, mitchie, matt, martucci, billy, walsh, zach, kim, deuce, jenna, and scott.

sunday i went shopping by myself and went to erins to watch the oscars, then to matts for a little while.

monday i did nothing until scotts, where we played nba live 2002 and madden. kces, deuce and zach came over, and zach brought leftover beers from new years, so we drank them and watched the core. i slept on a pullout bed.

tuesday i went shopping with erin and then to the california pizza kitchen. we watched the first season of the oc at her house, then i hung out with matt and lara and watched from the earth to the moon.

wednesday i went to dinner with my mom and grandpa, then hung out with shiz pulito zach and deuce. i picked up scott from the train station and then went to bed.

thursday i did nothing all day, watched the oc, played a game of ncaa basketball at scotts, then went to erins. we went to the diner and watched the oc.

friday i went to jennas at 12:30, picked up billy with her and matt, met dan vesey at the port jeff ferry, then went to hartford. it was awesome.

saturday i came home, accidentally fell asleep, then went to the beach with erin. me martucci billy zach and kim went out to dinner at fridays, then starbucks, then billys. jimmy and cunningham came too.

sunday i woke up and took the hampton jitney back to school. i took a nap, started my shakespeare paper, and updated my livejournal. thats it.

this summer will be absolutely ridiculous, and if its not, we're doing something wrong. theres so much potential.

over and out,
bz

in addition:

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 06:13:02 GMT

february was awesome as it always is. maybe i just think its awesome cause it should be, or maybe it just is. either way, whatever. best concert of my life, amazing weekend with erin, minimal work, walsh and eulau visiting, etc.

two posts in 10 minutes, the new personal record.

if only i had work to do

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 06:07:14 GMT

its been a while, and starting a journal with 'its been a while' means a. the keeper has been busy, and/or b. the journal is likely to die out soon. the former is true, the latters bound to happen, so whats the use in wondering.

i really cant believe how much doing laundry gets to me. it ruins my whole day, usually because one thing goes wrong and i have to go back up to the 7th floor to get a fucking quarter or something and then back down to the basement. whatever, its just laundry, shut up john. i know.

i have so much free time its disgusting. im caught up in all my classes, and i have a job, and i take naps, and i still dont know what to do with myself. maybe ill join a club? sure. then ill go to the gym and eat better. oh, the goals i set!

i cant believe im going to bonnaroo. it is going to be absolutely insane. a road journal with accompanying pictures / video is certainly in order. lets hear it for mom and dad.

miyagi is still alive and kicking, we finished a song this past weekend when walsh came up, and andrews in the midst of recording an acoustic version of 'no one steals our chixxx...and lives.' do not fret, our wrath will soon be felt in clubs across the northeast. well, just long island and boston. across the sound, then.

right now its march. and the lions roaring so damn loud it keeps me up at night. translation, its fucking cold here.

walsh and eulau came to boston this weekend, and my oh my it was dope. its been confirmed that mike jordan is the worst person we know, and also that walsh totally scams on andrews girl. andrew has sooome patience to put up with that. so walsh if youre reading this, (first of all, sup) watch where you step cause you got a lotta nerve. im just kidding, it was really funny to watch.

spring! break! friday! relaxing in tropical smithtown for a week, and seeing brick's first gig at hartford next friday. much drinking is in store that night.

i think i did a good job making friends at college. as lame as that sounds. i like it here. except for laundry.

my italian midterm tomorrow is to sing an italian song in front of the class. i hope its graded on how embarassed you are. cause if thats the case, im gonna be so far on the right side of that bell curve you have NO idea.

i write like im ten, i apologize for all the connected unrelated thoughts separated haphazardly by commas.

i should start taking pictures again. maybe ill yearn for these days in a few years. weird to think about.

be good,
bz

we do the same thing every weekend

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 07:16:51 GMT

but isnt that the point? ive fallen into a routine here and although its lazy as shit, i like it a lot. i started a kingdom hearts game on kevins memory card, rip second semester. im not worried anymore about what im gonna do on weekends and whether its gonna be fun or not, cause i pretty much know what im gonna do, and i know its gonna be fun.

miyagi practice yesterday was...bizarre
practice itself was fine, we finished (well, andrew did) writing world 4-1. the walk back was just ridiculous, the stacked cars followed by the stand up bike followed by the radio station in mcdonalds finished by my bass almost getting stolen. i crashed hard after that, then went out to, you guessed it, a basement party after drinking in kevin and phils room. it was a frat house from suffolk, a sketchy college in boston. this guy we dubbed 'dad' was there and he sure liked the z. i played kingdom hearts then came back and watched eternal sunshine, making my bed time between 5:30 and 6.

today was waking up at 1:30, eating, kingdom hearts, being online, eating again, working, napping, work, kingdom hearts, livejournal update. pretty a+ day.

i really have no insecurities about the thing i usually have insecurities about anymore, and i wonder if i ever should have in the first place.

love,
bz

welp, time for a recap

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 03:17:17 GMT

today kim asked me for vishniks number (vishnik = grad house guy), so i retrieved it from the 'grad house' folder on my computer. i wish i hadnt been so uptight at grad house, but oh well.

anywho, in the folder was a file called away messages, which contained the away messages of people the night before grad house that i copied and pasted into a word document.

------------------

scott:
Well here we go again ... Last year's gradhouse was filled with spectacular events that define greatness. Marked as the second best time of my life, I re-embark on a second journey to that Pavillion on the hills of the Hamptons, where 40 dillusional teenagers spend 4 days and 3 nights together in a frat house. This shack of co-ed mayhem is one of the greatest places on earth ... a majestic shithole where you eat and drink alocholic beverages and random hookups are not only inevitable but hilarious. So , I say fuck you too all those who don't get to return to this great place and say HOO RAH to those that get to experience this for the first time. And for you John Welsh ... lets do it again brother.

billy:
i feel like a little kid the night before leaving for Disney

matt:
sleep

cunningham:
im not doing anything for the next four days so if you want to hang out give me a call

martucci:
packing

dan:
packing

me:
no one
will go
unsober.
grad house 2005

jordan:
Three years of talk all culminating to this.

hartard:
You make me smile....

...and so does a week of this.

kim:
sleeeeeeep.then. GrAd HoUsE til tHuRsDaY!!!!!!

shleb:
Monica: "I'm sorry i just can't stop smiling"
Rachel: "I know it's like you've got a hanger in your mouth"
hehe that's pretty much how i feel right now :-D

umm so freaking happy right now and GRAD HOUSE IN THE MORNING!!!!

eden:
packing. sleeping. partying. partying. partying. partying. home.

jill:
packing for GRAD HOUSE with kristin lee bridget baker<3

i love you, billy!

baker:
grad parties
sleeping @ the mattera's
GRAD HOUSE
till thursday :-)

walsh:
CorkeyAbC123 (12:53:48 AM): did you pack yet?
sequoia drive x (12:53:59 AM): fuck you
CorkeyAbC123 (12:54:04 AM): oh wait will bubeck is going insted of you

Chiznit124 (12:58:00 AM): yo man, you psyched for grad house....
Chiznit124 (12:58:04 AM): ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh wait

welp. fuck you guys. starting my first day of WORK tomorrow. grad house kids - TRY to have at least a little fun without me.

-------------------------

also, i made this like the week before i left for school and then forgot about it

counterproductive!

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 06:07:40 GMT

the history of the soviet union
is boring.

im taking a shakespeare class instead of greek history, thanks to jake schwartz for that. one class on tuesdays and thursdays, so that means lots and lots of reading.

i am an 80 year old man trapped in an 18 year old body.

we become aware of our emotions, our feelings, a guitar string being plucked is easily identifiable as a guitar string being plucked. it has to do with memory, and language, and conditioning, and reflex. but how do we know that we are aware of it? the conscious mind knows that it is conscious, but what changes in the brain make us conscious? what even defines consciousness?

thats my writing seminar, and i actually cant wait, cause im crawling out of my skin to figure it out. i think myself into holes quite often and this is a fantastic rope to get me out of them.

jimmy called it 'extreme individualism' and im gonna talk to my professor about it maybe. what if there wasnt anything else besides my own mind? when i close my eyes, how do i know something is still in front of me? my brain could trick my remaining senses. what about other people? arent they there too? what if i made up the idea of other people? what if i made up the idea of an idea? and how can you prove me wrong?
i dont actually feel this way, but its an interesting point to bring up.

the only reason im talking about this is so people can think im smart.
just kidding. i think that these are the questions that should be answered first, and once we completely understand that, we can die.

i could worry myself to death

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 02:12:33 GMT

not feeling too hot currently, and im not too sure why. i think i need sleep. ive only been up for 8 hours, go figure. ill be fine in the morning.

i got my books, i did my food shopping, so now i wait. for 2nd semester and my level 300 history of the soviet union class. i can tell now it was a mistake. i hope im wrong.
today i got lunch and went food shopping with the dudes on my floor. i fucked around for the rest of the day until dinner, where i saw phil sean and dave for the first time. good times at dinner, but movie monday isnt panning out as id hoped. we were gonna give barry a call, but no one had his number. oh well. its 9:10 and im bored out of my skull. i guess i should appreciate this boredom cause its not gonna be back until at least may.

my last day of classes is april 28th, that seems so close. but boy, its so far away.

i have nothing left to say at this juncture, maybe ill be back later.

-bz

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 09:44:14 GMT

yeah im updating. yiou wanna fight about it?

its good to spend time with a beautiful girl. who is selfless and caring and goes out of her way to make you laugh cause she likes it when you do. thats all im gonna say about it cause shed probably kill me if she read this.

high schools over. im not going to say anything about how its the end of an era or how a new stage is beginning in my life, its just weird to think that its completely done, and you cant make any more high school memories, and you cant make any more friends that you met in high school, and you cant do all the things that you wanted to do before it was over.

the summer so far, all 4 tiring, satisfying days of it, has made me notice that you can have fun doing just about anything, especially sleeping, and that having no responsibility will make you happier than you can ever imagine.

what absolutely blows my mind is that everywhere, and i do mean everywhere, people our age are having the time of their lives and thinking theyre the coolest kids ever. this seems bittersweet; that makes us less unique but gives young adults a common thread.

the air conditioner in my window does not take up the whole frame. there is space on either side of it, where some birds have harmlessly taken up residence to raise their families and start their careers. its a god damn gated community there though. theyve got their loud children and their huge suvs and the like, and it wakes me up every morning. the scratch of bird foot on the metal air conditioner for 3 hours at a time will make any treehugging peta member want to strangle the birds and leave them for dead. dont get me wrong, im all for animals and against cruelty, but get the hell out of my window.

i had a dream that i got into a car accident and the steering wheel owned me in the stomach. i went to the hospital but had to wait about 2 hours (4 seconds in dream time) for any help, and while i was sitting there bleeding internally and dying a miserable death, my parents kept telling me to stop being so impatient. pretty accurate, id say.

im such a bastard to my parents. i dont want to do anything. ever.

anything.

i dont clean my room, clean my car, help my dad with things for more than 5 minutes at a time, i dont eat dinner home, i dont sleep home, i dont feed the dog, and i dont talk to them. im in and out and my main conversation is asking for money. i love my parents to absolute death, but im gonna see them for the rest of their lives, and me and my friends dont have that kind of time. so i cram it all in now.

and now, a haiku.

anakin has rage
its the jedi councils fault
he kicks their asses

its 5:45 in the morning and i must depart to collapse and shut down my organs in bed.

stay classy

of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 06:20:35 GMT

things that need to happen:

myspace gets shut down
starbucks is taken back from the shady kids
the weather gets warmer

im so happy right now its absurd

to keep jordan occupied

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 03:15:03 GMT

i have been in a pretty good mood lately and i dont really have much to complain about.

about grad house:
if you were not invited, i am very sorry. it wasn't just my decision, it was a decision made by many people (not just the council) for the benefit of the group. personal differences were put aside, so if you werent invited, its not because we dont like you. we did not point people out and say "fuck you, you arent invited" rather we decided "these 40 people ARE invited." the people invited were the people who made an effort to be social with the other 39 invited, rather than just being there once in a while. im sorry if you werent invited, but there is nothing anybody can do about it now, so theres really no point in complaining. when i decided to run it, i knew i was gonna get a lot of shit for it, and ive already gotten it about every decision thats been made, so theres no new arguments. its all old hat by now.

now that thats out of the way, college acceptance? i havent heard anywhere yet and people are already buying books and choosing classes. not really, but it feels that way.

i have a myspace. i dont see the point, really. i made it because my sisters camera was sitting in my house so i decided to take some joke pictures and make one. as for the people with 300 friends: why? no one thinks youre any cooler.

read the da vinci code

watch scrubs

dont watch american idol

thats about all

two things ive learned

Thu, 20 Jan 2005 02:16:22 GMT

life is never ever as bad as it seems
and there is always good in everything

robbed from andy boy

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 02:37:17 GMT

Step 1: Get your playlist together, put it on random, and play!
Step 2: Pick your favorite lines from the first 20 songs that play!
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song the lines come from!
Step 4: Cross out the songs when someone guesses correctly!

01. and i saw why they say beauty comes from the inside
02. how was i to know you would upset me
03. cause i know that you know and i care that you care
04. but its so hard lovin you
05. still youre keepin me around til i finally drag us both down
06. brothers always come first
07. things are never gonna be quite what you want
08. it could be enough if only we are pilots once a day
09. so hears to sleepless cold and dreams of insecurity
10. i need a cola now
11. burning like a bridge
12. its second nature to say we've done nothing wrong
13. building nothing, laying bricks
14. i cant keep up cause youre so far gone
15. cause im not sure whats goin on, i feel the earth quakin beneath me
16. i know what i should do but i just cant walk away
17. silly worker bee, im your fucking queen
18. heavy legs two steps behind some forever dangling carrot, and im tired of it
19. ignore that sinking feeling
20. and ill scream it until your ears bleed, youll always have a friend in me

this way? no hun. this way.

Sun, 12 Dec 2004 17:59:39 GMT

we jumped out of alex's car (and threw alex into the ceiling while doing it) to watch the line of firetrucks go past. we all screamed and clapped, billy even flashed them. then, we went bowling. and we won twice. duh. then we went to applebees, played the mungh game, and ate mondo amounts of wings.

and it was fun. ive been having a lot of fun lately since i noticed that if you dont try to make every night the best night of your life, the nights turn out to be the best nights of your life. be up for anything, i guess.

and now an excerpt from "morte d'arthur" by sir thomas malory:

Lancelot said, "Thy noblest of kings, thy not darest thou to fuckith Queen Guinevere? Watch thee!"

lancelot kills everybody and THEN FUCKS THE QUEEN! MY GOD!

is arthur a tragic hero? who cares, lancelot is a beast. lets see an essay on how much poon lancelot gets from arthurs wife.

Arthur's tragic flaw is that he has too much faith in people, and this ultimately leads to the downfall of his kingdom and the Round Table. The knights cannot live up to the standards set by the Code of Chivalry, and Lancelot keeps bangin the shit out of Guinevere without Arthur knowing a damn thing (Wilson, 27).

i hate brit lit and writing for college. of all the english classes in all the grades, mr "i will never make it as a teacher because i try to hold my ground but am secretly a quivering pushover" giaconda has to be the student teacher for writing for college, the only useful one in the building.

edit: the class isn't useful. dont take it. they assign a research paper. dont take it. the name deceives you. there's a proposal to change it to "writing lab with a few of your own thoughts thrown in. then its back to research and mla, duh."

i have one more essay to write for brit lit and i cant bring myself to do it. i have about a third of the page done, which means a ninth of the paper done. its really not that bad once you get started and get elbow deep in criticism that would never be of interest to anybody but you still need a quote from them so you scan and scan and nothing comes up so you take the first quote you see and actually have it disprove your thesis but since you were so fucking tired writing the paper you could put "beowulf symbolized the three legged goat god of the wikubu tribe of southeast boston" and it would sound fine to you cause it has beowulf in the quote and since your paper's on beowulf it has to fit.

alas, it doesnt. and you get a d.

the only criticism that makes sense is sparknotes, and, also alas, it is forbidden. teachers look at you like you just strangled your parents to death with your bare hands when you use sparknotes. motherfuckers.

but enough about school john, lets hear about your unhealthy obsession with laguna beach!

ok ok. i have an unhealthy obsession with laguna beach. i cant explain it. the show is horrible and i love it. every time its on i stop what im doing and get lost in the world of people who actually know how to skimboard (which was a big disappointment to matt and i) and really expensive bags that are too small to hold anything useful in. except maybe a tampon, but thats just gross. i think lo is hot and that morgan never looks directly at anybody for fear theyd turn to stone. i dont wanna talk about it.

that was jordan who did the last update by the way. i dont use capitals. idiot.

im gonna go mix salt and sugar, then separate the two, then start work on my essay.

toodaloo

perfect endings

Sun, 24 Oct 2004 18:41:57 GMT

Do I even need to discuss the awesomeness of senior year? I thought maybe after the first 5 weeks were done it would get harder, but no. They should have put senior year after 6th grade, and then made 7th grade after 11th, because 7th was mega hard.

Things to look forward to: glassjaw
olympics of boobs
greenkill?
grad house
christmas break
winter olympics of awesome
puberty
acoustic cafe
college acceptance letters
making fun of people who didnt get in
being done with all the work
hALLoween
the first snow
warm weather

not a bad list at all.

man making a long entry is a lot harder than I thought.

straylight was crazy. always a good perfomance from a good group of guys + michelle.

so hunter left. a little weird because we never got too close, and I know we would have had he stayed.

being in CP rocks so hard. I dont know what I would do if I wasnt in it. we need to edit the hershey video so everyone can see it and be more jealous than they already are.

I hope Sam comes up to visit.

"I don't have any kids, but do you think it's weird for your parents when they have the unprotected sex when they know they're conceiving a kid at that exact load blowing? I mean, what if your wife likes the funny stuff and starts fingering your star during it or something. When you have that kid, do you look at it and love it, or do you spend the rest of that kid's life thinking, "sure I love my son, but he'll always just be rimwork to me." "
-Daflos's away message

Im about ready for the next poker tournament, as long as its not 20$ buy in. I have a feeling Im going to be taking home 3rd place, I dont know why though. Its cool that we started to get a little sick of it, and instead of letting it just die we backed off for a bit.

just realize I used the F curse 5 times last update.

someone should make a movie of our lives. I hope one of us becomes a director or writer or something so they can do it. we have so much fun and if you edited out the boring things itd be a sick movie. think of all the drama. itd be like now and then or whatever that chick flick was, only cool. shotti rosey odonnell.

speaking of movies, TEAM AMERICA. jesus titty fucking christ.
go.
see.
it.
if you didnt like it, dont talk to me.

expect another update on 11/28
payyyyyce

a laundry list of problems doesnt make you interesting

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 00:12:31 GMT

holy cow, school is a joke.

i have 3 lunches a day and its absolutely nutty how much work i dont get done.

my schedule couldn't be easier except for god fucking damn brit lit. we have quizzes 3 times a week, and we have to not only read poems written eons ago, we have to understand them.

fuck that.

i usually get home at like 2:45/3, eat, and sleep until like 7, fuck around until 11:30, watch boy meets world, shower, and then go to bed.

i wish i had more concerns, kinda. i feel like a waste whenever i wake up. it always seems like such a good idea when i go to sleep though. whatever.

i need to get into the national honor society, math honor society, and to get a job like mad quick cause im spending more money than im making.

fuckin boston october 22nd yooooooo
northeastern open house
rizzis birthday
cant wait

football was nuts on friday and i hope we do that again really soon. i had a pretty good weekend considering nothing took place.

and i thought about it, and i noticed that i AM easily satisfied. as long as my friends are in the same spot im happy. its not that im bored, im just yearning for something new to do. i guess that makes the nights where we DO do something new even better. like the scavenger hunt for example. i had a sick time but if we did that every night itd get boring. and wed probably be arrested.

but thats besides the point.

so yeah, i love my friends, i love my grade, i love boy meets world, and i love sleep.

everyone at college, fuck you, you should be home. especially you.

support girls volleyball thursday night at sachem under the lights! actually its inside, but techinically its under the lights.
sure, maybe theyre not as good looking as the guys team, or talented, or cool, but hell, they need our support!

what a sick weekend

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 20:59:41 GMT

thursday night/friday morning was andrew sclafanis beach house party which is always the highlight of the summer. this time didnt fail. jordan scott and walsh came and it was ridiculous.

warped tour was fuckin insane. we snuck in vietnam style by jumping barbed wire fences and running through woods and shit. it was excellent. didnt pay a dime. sold out...more like no way.

yesterday the hells satans and the deadly viper assassination squad JOINED FORCES to take on bleed em dry. it was some damn good frisbee, and the whole thing ended in a draw on a count of getting kicked out of hoyt farm.

bastards.

last night was walshs party which is always a good time. a lottt of random people were there but it was still cool.

im pretty cool with everything, and im actually kind of excited for school so maybe i can start fresh with some things.

i record boy meets world twice every night on my computer and watch it the next day. it still doesnt fail to make me laugh.

olympics of awesome needs 1 more team!!!! ask around.

matty b gets home soon which rocks.

thats all

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 21:04:02 GMT

so its been like a year since i last updated and thats a shame cause a ton has happened.

this summer has been awesomely boring and thrilling at the same time. the days are usually awesome, and the nights end up being uneventful and just hanging out at starbucks. its better than school though.

hershey was a bust. i thought it would kick start my summer and id have this amazing time. but it turned out that i didnt have that good of a time due to circumstances beyond my control such as weather and long lines. it kick started my summer in the sense that i couldnt wait to get back to smithtown and do nothing and have a good time doing it.

grad house was nuts. there are tons of funny stories, but i imagine last year's was better. i had a great time and so did everybody else, so thats a plus. im very psyched for next year's.

senior year isnt too far away and quite frankly that scares the shit out of me. were gonna run the school and be the coolest kids in it. which im excited for.

poker has lost its charm for me and im afraid it will die soon. hopefully it wont.

frisbee is still incredible so im happy about that.

work sucks now. it was so relaxed first session when we had 6 counselors and 17 kids. now we have 10 counselors for 46 little bastards who do not listen to anyone. the people i work with are awesome though, and its been a good summer so far making loot and having a good time. money goes quicker than i make it though. im not even sure on what.

july 17th was kevin devine who fucking blows me away every time. august 1st was head automatica which was ridiculous. daryls so gay. <3.

there havent been many really good stories yet this summer. except for going to moses about once a week. always a fantastic time. wiffleball, rummy 500, and bottle rockets are awesome too.

comment with your favorite day of the summer so far

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 16:28:33 GMT

its raining now so i think ill update.

first off, i drive now. and thats weird. ive been waiting so long for it, and now that its here, it doesnt feel any different, but its still weird. if you drive you probably know what im talking about.

summer has been pretty bossanova so far even though zach left friday cause hes a cunt. weve been playing sports that really shouldnt be called sports, like bocce wiffleball and dodgeball.

by the way go see dodgeball it was fucking incredible.

im gonna recap junior year because it was fantastic.

september '03: started school, felt like shit, had a sick lunch period.

october: felt better, things started looking up, still had a sick lunch period.

november: absolutely incredible. coheed/thrice/thursday, greenkill, brand new, night in the city with the collegiates.

december: also incredible. except for quiznos. fuckin quiznos. winter break was off the hook, packed with shows and a great new years eve.

january: more quiznos, more apathy. first party at rosenmans, and we noticed how cool we were. and how naked we could get without feeling awkward. pimpbox parties and poker.

february: fed up with quiznos and school, all i wanna do is sleep. february break = the best break of my life, which included bowling, jordans surprise party, coldplay dvd and kevin devine.

march: quit quiznos and things started looking up. coheed and cambria at irving plaza was a religious experience, pass my road test, etc.

april: got a computer for my room and a deck for my car and ironically it ends up being one of the worst months this school year. poker tournament was sick but the rest of the vacation was kind of lame.

may: ill. license. basically it. and started doing things every day after school. kept me sane.

june: schools over, driving more, partying more, frisbee tournament (hells satans <3) , dodgeball, beach, ridiculousness.

july: looks very promising.

thats for me so i remember what happened when. thanks to all the people that made this year sick.

------

list of people that made this year sick:

jordan, nicole, zach, jimmy, hartard, patalano, cunningham, ronnie, billy, rosenman, brown, conklin, pulito, dj, jake, maccarro, retus, mcclain, andrea, kristin, justine, kt, jenna, danielle, cara, eden, ilana, lara, jenna, dan, lance, martucci, audus, annie, walsh, scott, jesse, eulau, dimodugno, pasco, andy, mj, rj, rizzi, amy, dangerholtz, eddie, walter, stutman, kces, cioni, veronica, maureen, tina, deidre, nitz, shiz, christian, varin, centi, legoff, hulk, smith, martucci, mack, rico, kremer, lisa, jess, alex, pete, chuck, sweeney, greg, audra, lisa, kristin, steff, and last but not least, claudio sanchez and jesse lacey.